You Are Asparagus You're not exactly...

You Are Asparagus

You're not exactly subtle. You seduce people by being highly suggestive. And surprisingly, it works. Your outrageous ways are very appealing. You always try to look as sexy as possible. Even if it means being a bit inappropriate. You somehow always manage turn the vibe sexual. You have more fun when everyone is being naughty!

What Aphrodisiac Are You?

Campus Rock I-Dont-Knows

This entry started out as a description of my first guitar lesson, but it turned into something else. So please bear with me coz the flow is messed up. It seems as if I have jumped from one random topic to another...and I have...coz I was gonna talk about something else.

So, here goes:

I had my first real guitar lesson y'day! I was soooo excited about it!!! And herez how it went.

But perhaps, a little about my tutor first: He is this pretty random guy I met on orkut. Hez the cousin of my junior from undergrad. A few scraps spread over about 2 years with random discussions about obsure (to me) north European heavy metal bands.

Now I am completely clueless about the music scene. Whatever I know is from these random (again, for lack of a better word) songs I downloaded back in the US. I don’t even know the different genres or which genres the stuff I listen to belongs. My CDs from those days are titled “Shakes” and “Smoothies” to differentiate between the fast and the more melodious songs. (Cudnt help the food allusion, tho…I’m a die-hard lover of FOOD, as anyone whoz seen me can tell…)

While thatz me, our man tried to educate me about vampires and unicorns and dragon blood. I read up about this strange Swedish (or was it Finnish?) band called Mayhem, whose hit album’s cover was the gory photograph of their lead singer’s suicide. I kinda didn’t know how to react coz I have this stereotypical image bout rockers. I see them as fascinating black-wearing, scary-looking, drug-taking, Satan-worshippers. You get the picture. They prolly wud only shop at Hot Topic if it was in India. I don’t know if that is now seen as ‘mainstreamized’ and is being shunned as pseudo-goth or whatever u call it, by the hardcore true-blue (BLACK!) Goths.

Anywayz, getting back to my tutor, I always had this idea of him and he would talk bout these crazy bands and educated me about the local rock scene.

Oh, that reminds me…back on HCU campus, we had something called a ‘Rock Show’ for our campus fest. These bands would show up and start growling into the mike (its called something…with G…appropriate, but I forget) and we would barely decipher words like “death”, “blood”, “evil”, “burn”, “acid” and of course, “Satan”. This show would usually be on the day after what we call “DJ NITE”.

On DJ Nite, the entire campus crowd would show up and shake whatever they find shakeworthy in their body (plz don’t go graphic here. I pity you if you have an overly visual imagination.) to the regular dance numbers known to anyone with a semi-working-FM Radio. This regular crowd to which I belong, made up mostly of commercial-movie-going, hip-shaking-hand-lolling mass of people, not knowing what to make of this music, would just stand and stare hoping their bodies would just do the necessary without the necessary info from the top compartment.

Meanwhile, the performers—poor guys—after umpteen “are you ready!!”s, which whittle down to “are you (even)with me??”s try to inspire themselves. Here begins the strange phenomenon which only that creed can understand. The Rockers gang up right in front of the stage…about 15 big, burly boys in black (pardon the alliteration, just couldn’t help it) and form a huge circle and sway…sorry, thtz too elegant a term for what they do, but then I’m ignorant of rock lingo…in a trance and sing (scream!) with the dood growling into the mike. A coupla minutes later, since the collective growling is just not working for them, they decide to smash into each other and collide, practically sweaty-torso to sweaty-torse, as if they were aimless electrons. Its truly a fascinating and maybe even a sublime experience watching the raw bestiality of this phenomenon, which I later learnt is called “MOSHING”!

However, on a campus like HCU, there can be only one conclusion to fun like this. The crowd moves in closer to vicariously experience the moshing, getting closer and closer to something so fearsome and fascinating at the same time and finally gets smashed (literally) into the experience. The moshers, in their frenzy, smOsh into the unsuspecting audience nd WHAM! The bubble bursts, the spell of the dark side suddenly lifts and the crowd switches into HCU-mode. Great stupendous roars ensue and the moshers are shoved back angrily. The mob gears up nd the lead singer on stage, lost in his ecstatic growling, gradually comes back to earth as his voice is drowned by the mob. After vigorous yelling and accusing matches, some big shot appears on stage, pacifies the majority, forcing the bands to apologize. The evening gradually dwindles down to eventual silence, as the spectators finally leave—having finally witnessed the excitement they were waiting for. :)

25 random things about me!

Hehehe...just can't not do it anymore...:) So here goes:

1. I am incredibly lazy. In fact, it shud be my middle name or something.
2. My life is divided into 2 phases: Pre-US and Post-US....the during doesnt really exist. I spent all my Post-US life essentially yearning for my Pre-US life.
3. Oh yea...I'm obese...and its such an issue with me that it has seeped into every aspect of my life. But I dont do anything to get rid of it.
4. I believe I am a pretty good writer :D My one ticket to something meaningful, my one hope :)
5. I havent really worked hard for anything in the last 8 years atleast, if not longer.
6. I talk to myself...OUT LOUD! Some of the BESTEST conversations I've had are with ME ME ME ME!
7. I can exist without knowing or bothering to know what is going on around in the world.
8. Oooooooooh! this onez good. Back in my school days, I managed for an entire year without doing any homework or even classwork. I just didnt. Everyday, I would start on a fresh page, so the incompleteness of the earlier pages wouldn't show. I managed to score pretty darn good tho, that year...:) I shocked myself :D
9. I havent grown any taller since I was 13...which was 10 years ago.
10. At heart, I think I'm a total tomboy...always craving that just-one-more-adventure. I just dont want to grow up :D I'll prolly do pretty much any crazy thing for that high...of life! :)
11. I am just learning to exist crush-less. Its boring but liberating(?).
12. I took a whole year to learn cycling. I was beaten and threatened into learning it. I finally mastered it on my own, without any help because I was too incensed and had to prove a bloody point, dammit! I was 8-9 years old.
13. I think I have a Catcher-complex. I am perpetually disillusioned and now I'm desperately trying to reverse-Catcher myself. Life has become insane.
14. I am terribly scared of ghosts, lizards and all reptiles. Well, reptiles even more so, coz they repulse me. I leave the entire bathroom and squeeze myself into a corner almost daily when I'm bathing. I'm mortally afraid that the lizard will fall on my head.
15. I have pending work from 6 years ago. 
16. I havent said 'no' to temptation in the last 3 years.
17. I like to eat my pizza slices crust first...from the back coz I believe the best should be saved for the last. 
18. I want to live the hippie way for a while. 
19. I was taught how to polish my nails by a boy. I still dont do a good job, but he really knew what he was doing :D
20. I fed an egg to a pig once...one of the grossest moments of my life.
21. I'm partially deaf.
22. I can sleep for 24, and even 48, hours straight. My one and only claim for fame so far :D
23. There was a point when I was seriously considering becoming a detective...but then, I switched to hypnotism. Now I'm an editor.
24. I need to groan out of pleasure if I'm eating something ambrosial. 
25. I get periodic "hyper-energetic" possessions. At different phases in my life, I dealt with them differently. During teenage, I locked myself in my room and used to seriously mutilate my bed. In degree, I would put on music and walk the corridors of the hostel like a maniac. (I scared one of my friends so much that she didnt come near me for a month!) In PG, I would put on loud music and ride my bike (again, like a maniac) at 2 in the morning. Now, I just go to sleep.
    
     

Alone in the city

I just sent my parents off. After a month-long stay, they left today. Early in the morning at 6.30. Since last week, they've been teasing me about how I'm gonna jump with joy  the minute they leave. Even today, as we were going to the station in the cab, they were like..."so, what now? Are you gonna throw a party coz we're finally leaving? Why do u have to come to the station to send us off? You could've bid your farewell at home, right?" My repartee was: "Oh yea! I have to come and make sure you leave....what if you miss your train and come back?" This is the traditional family joke we use to gloss over the fact that there is going to be an emotional scene just as the train starts moving. This continues until the last moment...nd suddenly, I turn the tap on as I wave them away back to their home..yelling "TAKE CARE! Careful about your health...call me as soon as you reach!" Looking at my dripping tears, my mom starts her crying...and Dads giving this strange half-sad, half-oh-gawd-these-women! smile as he waves back. And then, they're gone...(My parents just called to make sure I reached home...just as I was typing tht last sentence)

I cry on the station for a while nd then look around me. The day is just beginning, the platform is quite empty with the usual morning smells of tea-leaves, feces and the whiff of yesterday's staleness. But the freshness of  new day too...the delightful chill of early morning breeze, the faint twitters of the birds...these are pleasures I rarely ever enjoy...and I cherish  the calm that descends over me. I am alone in the city again. For some reason, it feels just right, despite the emotional wrench just seconds ago...it feels like a fresh new beginning of something byutiful. I feel grown up and ready to handle it :) Flashes of other such mornings where I shared silences over steaming coffee cups with dear ones bring a smile as I wipe my tears away. Mornings like this make all the bad stuff worth it. As I ride back home on an auto, I see the city waking up and going about its business...the city I now call home, the city where I have a place among all the arguing autowalas whose Telugu I'll never understand and all those Gucci-wearing, high-heeled hot babes zooming by in fast cars...Good morning, Hyderabad!
 

Today I have to talk about something either silly...

Today I have to talk about something either silly or perverted...which have been my two predominant moods in the past two days...post the depression...and I have been thinking about writing about how almost EVERY guy I see out on the road is scratching his balls...but perhaps thatz not a very apt topic for a public blog. So, I'll try and stay content with just mentioning it.

Annywayz, I've just been looking up Jabberwocky, the famous nonsense verse poem, for one of our books at work...but, of course, since the perverty mood still persists, unfortunately....I had to type in JabberCOCKY instead...and for those who are are currently feeling perverty...herez a version of the poem you might enjoy ;) http://toolsthatcantalk.blogspot.com/2008/03/jabbercocky.html

Now, just as I was trying to wash my brain off the perverty mood and switch to silliness, I glanced out my office window and I think I saw a huuuugee black, furry bandicoot slide vertically down the wall of the apartments outside...it was just for a second, but I SWEAR I saw a black furry thing. It COULD be batman trying to solve some domestic crisis and then escaping into his underground bat cave...only this guy is an animagus...I'm really taking too many liberties, arent I? mixing magic with super heroism...

oooooooooh...btw, I saw the picture of a really uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugly dog today mornign as I was flipping thru the newspaper. The ironic thing is that its been a consecutive winner of some dog show for 3 years (even Internationally)...honestly I dont know what the criteria is to make it in these shows...if our Miss Indias and stuff are anything to go by...I'm correct in pointing out that its ugliness is ironic. Anyhoo..the funny part here is that, I was looking up the use of animals in African folktales for work...and I came across dogs...and of course, the morning revulsion reminds itself to my brain...which doesnt know how to store info, REALLY!! Of all the things to think of....and worst...I began to get obsessed about this ugly dog...and I HAAAAAAAAAAD to find pictures of it...I cudnt even recall if it was today's paper...coz i CUD have been looking at y'day edition and didnt even realize it...so, coming back to the point (or lack thereof), I went over today's online edition of The Hindu about 50 times with no luck...asked a friend if he remembers seeing an ugly dog in today's paper...had him laff at me as well...(sigh)...was dragged off to lunch by my colleageus...subjected to a detailed description of the horrors of Hyderabad traffic and psychological traumas preventing us all from driving (I totally agree, tho...I'm shit scared of driving..)...okay..so where was i??? oh yea...we finally came back from lunch...and I start my search afresh...and VOILA! there, on Hindu...is the ugliest dog....strangely, notice the way it stands...so regally, as if everyone else is just waiting to bow down before its majesty...jeez...ugly royalty http://www.hindu.com/2009/02/05/stories/2009020560621100.htm

There ends one of my worst blogs...I really cant see anymore...

Ageing

I wish I had written my piece y'day nite...now those thots will never come out right. I wonder at the tremendous changes we undergo from second to second. Coz, a while ago, I was thinking about how I was 12-13 years ago...back in school. And a lot of things about me havent changed. Physically, besides more weight, I havent changed much...apparently, I still have the same face I had back in school. Emotionally, I think I've always been a teenager. Even in my supposed 'childhood', I was never really just a child. I did different things, always acted 'different'. And of course, as my 'teenage' began to set in...my world turned upside-down and I was definitely stunted. And now, after 6 years...as a legal adult, I'm still the same. People even think of me that way...some silly girl who can never act her age. The irony is, there were times when I was wayyyyyy ahead of my peers and now I'm wayyyyy behind with no real hope of catching up. And sometimes, I feel OLD...as in Senior Citizen Old Age.

I have had times when I did feel my correct age, no denying that. But that seems as if I was possessed by something else and it happend to that being...not to me.

And of course, I envy all those who have a normal timeline, things happening at the right age. But it is suffocating, being locked into this fixed mental dimension. It feels as if I'll go through my entire life, with physical things and events happening to me at their destined pace and I'll never catch up with anything...never feeling the normal emotions, never saying the right thing, never responding to things with the maturity they deserve. The worst thing is, almost every minute of my life, I'll keep reliving all these painfully embarassing situations that I shouldn't even have been in the first place. I keep telling myself I wont think about it today, but when something just randomly pops up into your mind and you're not prepared, you have to put a lot of effort to will it away and not spoil your day. And once it starts, it just keeps coming, one embarassment after another and having to relive 23 years worth of embarassments over and over again is just terrible. I'm afraid of growing old, now.